Bureau of published bad writing

Thog’s Masterclass

Dept of Punchy Opening Lines.
‘At first there was only the cold, the Stygian inky iciness that held every muscle of his body in thrall and made his thoughts flow with the turgid slowness of treacly molasses.’ (Wilbur S. Peacock, ‘Spider-Men of Gharr’, Summer 1945 Planet Stories)

Quickness of the Hand Dept.
‘… he laughed, and before I could stop him, stroked my face with the speed of light.’ (Debbie Johnson, Dark Vision, 2014)

Neat Tricks.
‘He stood tall, in fact even taller than he usually was.’ (Ibid)

Like a Huge Springing Beast Dept.
‘The redhead springs deep and soars through the air. Flying like a spread-eagled amoeba …’ (Kieran Shea, Koko Takes a Holiday, 2014)

Dept of Useful Add-Ons.
‘He rose to his spare elbows.’ (Charles E. Gannon, Fire with Fire, 2013) [AL]

Shock of Hair Dept.
‘His ginger hair with its generous dashes of grey sat on his head like an electrified cat.’ (J.D. Robb [Nora Roberts], Strangers in Death, 2008)

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2 Responses to Bureau of published bad writing

  1. lee4mk@aol.com says:

    OMG! Just where does one find spare elbows? I do hope they come in matched sets. Lee Wade Sent from my iPhone


  2. daniel f ward says:

    perhaps he needs to cover those spare elbows…poor fellow

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